The Good Life…a land of milk and honey, where the weather’s always sunny and the jokes are always funny…
…you may laugh, Copper Knickers thought the Earth was flat, but in the real world, the playing field isn’t so level.
With this in mind, the merged purposes of the TREM sisterhood, sought to raise a healthy wedge for the Teenage Cancer Trust with a smashing Charity Koala at The Berrrylands in Surbiton. And all were invited, from lands far and wide and Tracy and Emma saw that it was good.
Pin the tail on the donkey, guess the weight of the steak and ale pie, splat the rat, none of these surefire fund-raising frivolities were employed, instead much more exotic means to extract penny from punter were in play. With the stakes so high and the skies of Jordan stretching their legs on the horizon, they brought out the big guns….The Loudshirts and Jump The Gun to be precise.
When the clock struck 10, an uppercut to Big Ben, we pounced on the stage, pinning the punters to the wall and raised the roof with a cacophony of blunderbuss fire and perfectly executed renditions of only the finest danceaphonic sounds.
Re-jiggled and juggled like a tramp steamers undercarriage, the running order was perplexing to the average Casio timepiece, as were the absurd rider requests by certain goggle-boxed band members. Square ham, Bavarian smoked cheese, bagels and of course a brandy glass filled with 1000 brown M&M’s! All were batted around the ether prior to being choked out by their own absurdity.
By some tit-about-face, arse-up, knees-down, means to an end, we’d leap-frogged the ‘Shirts and pelicanned straight to the top of the bill. Luckily, being from different eras and dipping toes in different sides of the pond, there were no repertoire overlaps and our canny bunch of brit pop bananas proved a dexterous dynamic foil to the runaway train ride through classic rocks certified bangers.
Short and sweet and twice as neat, we plumbed in at just over an hour, the shorter race setting a faster, frantic pace which whirled the moshpit into a double four-time, foxtrotting frenzy! New stablemates Casbah and Tainted Love reared their rhythmic nodding early on to rile up the Stallions. Befurlong, it was all kicking off and frenetic cantering through Parklife and Don’t Look Back In Anger heard a thousand lungs threatening to burst with euphoric operatic vivacity. With the going so good, bets were taken left right and centre, what would they finish with on this night so mighty!?
And then, what ho!? The cumbersome waddle of a mallard intruding on this wild steeplechase, caused a momentary tumble at the final hurdle, fix that mic lead now!! Chelsea Dagger got off Scot-free from jumped up charges and we strode into Tubthumping, “I GET KNOCKED DOWN, BUT I GET UP AGAIN, YOU’RE NEVER GONNA KEEP ME DOWN!”
Could they go any higher? If you ever seen us us before, you’ll know we save the big guns ’til last and tonight was no exception! The fuse was lit and firing on all cylinders, we catapulted mercilessly into our signature finish, I’m A Believer followed by Twist And Shout. Looking out and seeing Charleston & Waltz boogie-woogie in a sea of revellers was all we ever wanted, and just like that our job was done.
A roomful of generous people made the event an unbridled success. Funds raised on the night totalled over £1000, pushing the overall figure to a fantastic £5000 raised for the Teenage Cancer Trust and Tracy and Emma’s trek across Jordan in 2015.
Thanks for a brilliant night, now where’s that bloody mallard!
– JTG